Okay - not to be a complete stick in the mud - but exactly when did I enter my dotage? - for surely, that must be the place, the era, stage in life, in which I reside - there can but be no other explanation for the pace at which my life is lived - or observed. Somewhere along the line, I must have made a conscious (or perhaps, not so conscious) decision to ‘retire’ as it were and reflect on the vast amount of experience I managed to cram into the stages before. It’s interesting that those who, within the confines of a religious order or environment, choose to remove themselves from the world, in order to gain a higher state of spirituality, basically ‘retire’ from that world - I guess there’s not much difference between me and the monk next door (although - there really isn’t a monk next door - I don’t think…). That was meant figuratively, though I do think I live in a somewhat rarified world. Though no vows were taken, I have retreated somewhat. The origin of this retreat must have occurred some time ago for, in my own mind, it seems to have been always thus - more or less. That being said, I do remember a time in my life when even the idea of going out on a Friday night could cause such heady excitement as to transport me into a state of ecstasy; I could not wait to be out and mingling with the flow of humanity that filled the streets, becoming one with the pulse of life in the city.
But things do change - we change - we grow - life moves on - we do not stay twenty-one forever, or even twenty-eight - or even thirty-five, or even fifty - but somewhere, inside of us, at a time long before where we are now and out of reach from our ability and capacity to change, we solidified a persona, a core, arrested at just the right moment, that explains us to ourselves - the reminds us always of who we are and who we have always been. Yes, change occurs, but the early experiences that shaped our vision of the world, at a certain point, become the ‘I’ in all of us and we simply view the passing of time from this, our own, unique vantage point.
Which brings me to today - Friday - this glorious Friday which I have celebrated grandly (as I do every day). I’m on the treadmill and I’m doing all I can to keep this wondrous machine functioning at its highest level - music is key to making that happen. I created a playlist weeks - no - months ago - and gifted it to my most precious heart. The 3rd number up is a teen - no - tween anthem that for the majority of the world has been the object of utter derision - and yet, there’s something lovely about it’s simplicity - it’s auto-tuned vocals - and the loveliness lies in its desire to express the yearning to live - to be a part of that great flow of life, immerse oneself in it and celebrate - like the 14 year old that exists within us all (okay, 14 might not have been exactly where I think my own persona solidified - but for the sake of this blog, we’ll randomly choose an age, eh!?). I found myself dancing on the treadmill and thought physically much older, I felt every sappy sentiment expressed in that silly song - I was so happy it was Friday - and I thought “We So Excited… I Don’t Want This Weekend to End”. Thank You - and Good Night.
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